30 juni 2011


[canon av-1]

jag vet att du är trött nu. håll ut. snart är det lov.

i know you're tired. soon. soon we'll have empty days.

27 juni 2011


[disposable camera]

lyröekarna. vi tog ekollonen i oktober. dom växte snabbt under vintern. nu står dom stilla,
men dom lever. dags att åka hem till sverige kära små ekar. hoppas ni gillart.

the oaks from lyrö island. we took the acorns in october. they grew quickly during winter.
now they've been still for quite a long time. but oh, they are alive. time to move home to
sweden dear little oaks. hope you'll like it.

the new school.

[canon av-1]

arkitekturskolan i stockholm. till hösten börjar jag här. tre år i göteborg, två år i oslo.
nu här. det ledsamma är att halva huset brann ned för några månader sedan.

the architecture school in stockholm. i will start here after summer. three years in

gothenburg. two years in oslo. now here. a sad thing is that half of the school burnt
down a couple of months ago. i am nervous. not about the school, but the city. stockholm
is my home town, but it has been so long. five long years. moving always involves mixed
feelings for me. right now the oslo nostalgia is strong. but i know, of course, that i'm
gonna love to return. return with new experiences, new concerns, new loved ones, new
eyes. hello stockholm. i have missed you.

26 juni 2011


summer in sweden

nu räknar vi de sista oslodagarna. kommande vecka, den sista i juni, är den vecka då vi
flyttar våra saker. inte till ett hem utan till ett lager. sen, i början på september, ska vi
känna oss hemma igen. jag i stockholm, han i göteborg. till dess ser jag fram emot att åka
till alla dom här ställena. två sommarmånader i sverige. snart snart.

counting the last days in oslo. the coming week, the last week of june, is also the week
when we are moving our things. not to a home but to a storage. then, in the beginning of
september we will settle down again. me in stockholm. him in gothenburg. until then i
look forward to visiting all of these places. two months of summer in sweden.

25 juni 2011


[disposable camera]

när solen kommer från sidan blir det ljust och jag ser alla. där sitter sara och där sitter
wakiko och där sitter den bistre mannen och mannen med de nyfikna ögonen. aleksander
vaknar och tåget som gick fort fort fort verkar stanna till en aning. plötsligt finns det ett
innanför som är ljust och varmt och har en alldeles egen historia i en alldeles egen takt.
innan solen kom fanns det inte. då såg jag inte sara eller wakiko eller männen, och
aleksander sov. utanför åkte världen förbi fort fort fort. här inne var det mörkt. en paus.

when the sun hits from the side the hour becomes light and i can see everyone. there is
sara and there is wakiko and there is the serious man and the man with curious eyes.
aleksander wakes up and the fastgoing train seems to slow down a bit. suddenly there's
an interior that is bright and warm and has its' own story in its' very own pace. before the
sun it was nothing there. then i could not see sara nor wakiko nor those men, and
aleksander slept. outside the world moved fast. here it was dark. a pause.

24 juni 2011

midsummer in norway.

[canon av-1]

idag ska vi exilsvenskar göra vår egen midsommar. i norge heter den st hansaften och glöms
bort. om den inte glöms bort så bränns det ett bål. vi ska inte glömma. vi ska göra kransar.
vi ska äta sill och nubbe och bo i tält. jag ska drömma om sverige och om allt som väntar där
hemma. som utsikten från min mammas gård.

today it is midsummer in sweden. according to many - the most important thing to
throughout the year. they do not do it here in norway. they have st hans aften instead, that
they sometimes celebrate with a big fire, and sometimes forget. but us swedes are crazy
about midsummer. so, we're making our own midsummer today. that includes eating
herring, drinking snaps and sleeping in tents. then i will dream about sweden and what's

waiting back home... like this view from my mothers house.

23 juni 2011

watch out darling.

[canon av-1]

- det är sommar nu du vet. du kanske blir brun. du kanske inte kommer att matcha
dessa ljusa morgnar lika bra. bara så att du är beredd.

- it is summer you know. you might get a tan. you might not blend in with our pale
mornings anymore. just wanted to tell you.

22 juni 2011

moving home to...

[canon av-1]

brorsans fräcka cykel. en systers fräcka hund. och kroppkakorna som en annan syster lagar

the bike of my brother. the dog of one sister. the kroppkakor [body cookies] that another
sister cooks sometimes.

21 juni 2011

arizona ends here.

[canon av-1]

this desert has overwhelmed me. in one day we could travel through several completely
different sceneries. the tresholds were sudden. in one moment the brown and dusty hills were
replaced by intensely red mesa mountains, blooming saguaro fields or snowy pine forests.
wakiko slept and woke up in different settings all the time. she envied me who could
experience the transformations, but i have to admit that i did not. it happened too quick even
though i was awake. i could not take it in. still can not.

20 juni 2011

notes from a bus #4.

[canon av-1]

april 14th.

- oh, i think i see las vegas over there in the smog, left of the signs, above those power

lines... can you see it?

this was eva's words. the city of so many peoples dreams was slowly revealing itself in the

grey sky. for us the dream was over. we entered the reality of las vegas, and that was the
end of our desert story.

19 juni 2011

that route.

[canon av-1]

route 66. turistfälla att njuta av. det mest njutbara var alla
drömmars choklad milkshakes. mm mm mm!

route 66. a highly enjoyable tourist trap. those milkshakes!

18 juni 2011

happily stupid or stupidly happy.

[disposable camera]

låt oss bara säga att det är kul att åka tåg.

let's just say that we enjoy taking the train.

17 juni 2011

towards vegas.

[canon av-1]

sista stoppet på vår stora resa skulle bli las vegas. vägen dit var lång. kraftledningarna
skvallrade om öknens elslukande oas. i en sekund såg vi hoover dam. i en annan sekund
rökte vi indiancigaretter tills vi mådde illa.

the power lines gathered, narrated about the electricity consuming oasis of the desert.
hoover dam was wooshing by. we stayed put in the bus, awaited the city of dirty dreams
to arrive.

it rained that day.

[disposable camera]

det gick inte att komma in i skolan. och bilarnas motorer vägrade att köra vidare efter pölen.

we could not get inside the school. and the engines of the cars turned silent after the puddle.

the lake.

16 juni 2011

it rained that night.

[disposable camera]

den lilla festen med de stora avskeden. ett sommarhus i tønsberg. en sommarnatt som aldrig
blev natt utan morgon igen. det regnade nästan hela tiden. vi talade om längtan, om människan,
om allvar, om att skriva. ville inte somna men somnade ändå. vid en eld, under en filt.

there was this party where we had to say so many goodbyes. a summer house in tønsberg.
summer night that was not a night, but a long journey towards the morning. and it rained. we
talked about longing, about writing, about many things. in the middle of it all, a snapshot
of the water melon. i think i took it for jonas, he loves them, the melons.

14 juni 2011

notes from a bus # 3.

[canon av-1]

april 12th.

- that feeling, what feeling is it? i asked out in the air. 

- you mean the feeling when it is so beautiful that your chest is in pain? asked sara.

- ...maybe.

- euphoria? she suggested.

- the power of nature, said wakiko. 

in the front of the bus per-olaf is jumping up and down on his seat. he says he is so full
of energy, full of "things". the sun has behaved the same way, drifting up and down
behind the hills on the right. we have seen five sunsets. now it is dark on the bus. silent,
a devout mood. i can not see what i'm writing, but i feel it. back to that feeling we fail
describe. maybe it comes from experiencing something sublime. maybe it comes from
something inside ourselves. this trip has involved so much joy and laughter. and
of deep emotions. that night in tucson when we couldn't stop smiling. that
night under the stars in arcosanti. and today, grand canyon.

09 juni 2011

hearing silence.

[canon av-1]

i expected it to be overwhelming but when walking along the rim our hopes faded at first.
pavement, information signs, loads of people. we went down a muddy trail where the earth
was climbed by mules. had lunch some hundred meters down into the canyon, with a view too
immense to describe. discussions arose about what it takes to be overwhelmed by nature,
to be taken by the moment. we all grasped for that feeling, for the melodramatic
sigh of beauty. further down we found a small path and left the trail behind. the climber
feet of emil and aleksander marched in the front. we followed on a gritty path in our city-
chic clothes. stones fell around us, we ducked and jumped at times. Large yellow rocks
were leaning over us. i was filled with fear of falling, fear of someone else falling. vivid
streams of air caused black make-up tears running from my eyes. made up tears behind my
sunglasses, evoked by the canyon wind. eventually the silence of the canyon could be heard
for the first time. we yelled. happy screams not to scare anyone. eight voices crying out,
down into the deep thousand-meters gorges. breathtakting echoes. the awaited feeling
finally arose.

personally i think of four key matters, necessary for me to approach such moments.
silence - or in fact the absence of voices.
effort - my own hardships that takes me there.
time - enough to let nature get to you.
loneliness - or just the like-hearted company.

we did not try to claim the canyon for our own, we just claimed our own experiences.